Maddie Wildman and I meet at The Porch, a cute little diner in my neighborhood for our interview. She enters the restaurant with a mason jar of sunflowers and lavender, and I immediately feel her grounding, encouraging presence as she sits across from me in the booth. Her ability to inhabit the present moment along with her self awareness is evident. As our conversation unfolds, it is apparent that intention and relationship are ruling elements of Wildman’s meditation practice. Life circumstances and motivations guide her selection and incorporation of mindfulness techniques. Intimate engagement with yoga philosophy and practices shape her understanding of herself, her communication with others, the universe, and the teachings themselves. Simplicity underlies these core elements of intention and relationship, allowing for consistent focus and relief.

Wildman teaches yoga classes at Llamaste Yoga and Healing, The Studio Pantego, and Texas 9 Golf Monday through Friday. She leads the Yoga Sūtras portions of the teacher trainings for Llamaste and The Studio Pantego. On the weekends she bartends at the Bowie House Hotel, and she was named Critic’s Choice Best Bartender Fort Worth by Fort Worth Weekly in 2024. She recently launched a new business, The Well of Conscious Connection, for which she creates and serves nonalcoholic (NA) craft drinks at events.

Wildman was born in Salem, Oregon,  moved to California when she was 4 years old, and moved around California throughout her childhood. A small yoga studio down the street from her high school in Agoura Hills,California that offered free youth classes was the setting for her first yoga experience.  The enthusiasm and detail that accompanies Wildman’s description of her first yoga class is indicative of its profound impact. She recalls Radiohead’s “High and Dry” being played and remembers the realization that other class attendees possessed something she desired as she felt them breath in unison around her. Wildman’s parents separated when she graduated high school, and she describes her childhood as chaotic. She says:

“I have noticed people who have harsh upbringings, they come to yoga. They come to spirituality. All these tools I’ve learned are tools I wish that I had when I was in that tumultuous situation. We eventually become what we needed when we were helpless kids.”

Referencing the Yoga Sūtras, Wildman goes further to say that strenuous times in life cause people to search for something that results in self reflection. According to the Yoga Sūtras, suffering leads to a desire to remove the kleshas, which include avidya (ignorance), asmita (egoism), raga (attachment), dvesha (aversion), and abhinivesha (fear of death). Awareness of the kleshas through observation of where one is clinging or running away makes inner wounds apparent and shows where emotional baggage lies. Wildman laughs when I ask if she has shed her emotional baggage:

“I think this practice has really helped me understand where my wounds are and helped me transcend some of them. But some of this trauma, we are meant to work with for our entire lives. And that’s okay, because it has also shaped us into who we are. And it’s also beautiful we have the ability to transcend that.”

After graduating high school Wildman began working at restaurants to earn money quickly and live independently. Running was an outlet for her in high school and continued to be a form of moving meditation that served as a challenge as well as a way to connect with her breath as she lived on her own. Attempts to sit in silent meditation proved to be too difficult. In 2020 she met Ali Nohinek, owner of a yoga studio then known as Radiant Sun Academy that operated in the space now occupied by Llamaste. Nohinek introduced Wildman to mantra, a form of meditation that involves repetitive chanting in sanskrit, and it was then that Wildman felt meditation was a tool to which she could continually return. 

Mantra remains the type of meditation practice with which Wildman most frequently engages. Connecting with the sound of the mantra for 20 to 30 minutes each morning and making room for silence paves the way for a more enjoyable day. Wildman says, “It’s almost like tuning into a radio frequency.” Mantra also helps her in times of darkness:

“In my first teacher training with Ali and James [Nohinek], nearing the end, my father unexpectedly passed away. And the mantra I was working with during that time was the Ganesha mantra. Ganesha is the giver and taker of obstacles. And I sat with that same mantra like everyday for like a year and a half . . . like we build a relationship. It’s crazy that I build a relationship with like, what, 2 sentences in a different language, but I feel like that was holding my hand throughout that time.”

In Wildman’s personal mantra practice and when leading her donation mantra meditation offering Thursday evenings at Llamaste, she chants loudly for one third of the meditation, whispers the chant for one third of the time, and then chants silently for the last portion. She notes this helps ease the nervous system into stillness. Chanting mantra silently during her day to day activities, especially in times of stress, is a way that Wildman makes the practice more accessible and useful in her life. 

Other types of meditation Wildman practices include orbital breath and a noting meditation. Orbital breath involves envisioning the breath travel to the crown of the head on inhales and imagining the breath travel to the tailbone on exhales. Noting meditation is simply noticing when a thought comes into the mind and labeling it as a thought, which Wildman emphasizes as a profound lesson in general:

“If you have a thought, that is a passing thought. You are not those things. You are a witness to those things, and the amount of people that actually know that are so few. So, it’s such powerful knowledge to give.”

Another mindfulness practice Wildman utilizes in her daily life is simply returning to the present moment whenever she notices her mind wanders away. She mentions that she uses the senses to notice surroundings and bring her inner dialogue back to whatever she is attending to in real time such as cleaning a dish or sweeping the floor. Lastly, Wildman says she plays with somatic movement by physically shaking out her body when she feels she is holding a lot of physical or mental tension. 

The sticky topics of religion and anger enter into our conversation as the interview progresses. Wildman’s responses are displays of wisdom, humility, and faith in herself. She addresses the carefulness with which she must approach religion and God within the philosophy portions of yoga teacher trainings as, “many people are really afraid to throw God into this yogic sphere.” Ishvara Pranidhana, the final Niyama or observance, means to surrender to the divine, and Wildman says some people struggle with that idea. Personally, Wildman says her yoga and religious practices coincide. I ask about prayer and if she knows to whom she is speaking when she talks to God, and she responds:

“With my spiritual awakening like when my father passed away in my first teacher training, and I was very much into chanting and things like that, I started talking to God. Like, I’m not boxing myself in to believe in like one God that I can converse with. I think a book that really describes what I believe, have you ever heard of Conversations with God? . . . That book has really shaped my religious experience. So, I believe I talk to God, which is also a divine source of love . . . And I think a lot of that was validated with my experiences of psychedelics, like when I had a mushroom ceremony. I do believe that I talked to God in that ceremony. Like it was just like a big hug. And what are you doing with all of this negativity toward yourself and others? Like all there is is love. And that was a really defining experience for me.”

As for anger, Wildman believes the surrendering and returning to the observer consciousness in meditation practice applies when big emotions surface in real time. She then knows to utilize a mindfulness tool to help respond in a calm manner. Having grace with oneself when an undesired reaction does occur is also important: 

“I think about [how] like meditation and being present is the key to breaking that generational trauma, is the key to find a new pathway of love. And any time we even remotely change the way we would have acted in the past is such a win. Because all of these neuropathways are so deeply engrained, it’s like no wait, I have free will. I don’t have to yell. I don’t have to snap.”

We discuss resentment and difficult relationships. Wildman references Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul, and iterates that obstacles in life do not vanish, but learning to keep perspective can mitigate the residue left by hardships. She reveals she does have some relationships in her life which require space or pause: 

“The meditation practice for me helps cultivate that loving presence, but if someone is actively still hurting you and not hearing you, that doesn’t mean we just need to meditate it away. There’s a difference between acceptance versus allowing someone to be abusive or whatever.”

Despite her employment serving alcoholic drinks, Wildman is now sober and says there is currently a movement in which a lot of bartenders are choosing to be sober. She doesn’t believe she had an issue with alcoholism but noticed alcohol affected the connection between her emotions and her body, which thus affected her yoga and meditation practices. Her sobriety inspired the launch of The Well of Conscious Connection. The business’s slogan is, “spirit free and full of soul.” The spring and summer collection of drinks on The Well of Conscious Connection’s menu include mocktails made with NA limoncello, NA elderflower liquor, NA aperol, and an NA gin alternative. Popup kirtan meditation and mocktails events are held at Llamaste. Wildman says she would not have come to the decision to become sober if not for her meditation practice:

“I think that these practices are a streamlined way of you reaching a higher consciousness, and I think you need that stillness to be able to feel how to increase the sensitivity [and] to know what’s good for you or not. Because so many people are desensitized. They don’t understand how the alcohol really seeps into how it makes you feel.”

Wildman advises use of both physical asana practice and meditation as medicine for what is needed on any given day, rather than being stringent about doing a certain type of practice for any period of time. She alternates between chanting the Ganesha mantra, the Gayatri mantra, Om, and sitting in silence depending on what her spirit needs. She says, “Having that autonomy to be like, ‘okay, this is what I need right now,’ Is really powerful.” Cultivating a practice that is sustainable is important to avoid burnout, which Wildman remarks is common, “Even just 5 minutes is so much better than nothing.” She emphasizes the way comfortable, inviting spaces within one’s home invoke excitement to meditate and encourage more consistent practice. 

I am inspired by my discussion with Wildman and leave The Porch with a deep gratitude for the opportunity to be near her unwavering zeal for yogic practices. She doesn’t chase different methods or vary her practices a lot. Her continual study of the Yoga Sūtras serves as a backbone to her spiritual outlook. Much of her wisdom lies within the simplicity of her practices. She says: 

“Everything in this life is impermanent, but the practice and the simplicity of the practice is always the same. And I think that’s really beautiful, because it gives you some sort of stability to anchor you into presence.”